Being someone who is highly sensitive simply means that you are able to experience life on a much deeper, emotional level. This is because our feelings are slightly heightened in comparison to others. But this doesn’t mean you are “too sensitive”, it just means that you are capable of feeling more.
For any co-dependent person, people pleaser or perfectionist, the guilt that comes from making a mistake feels different to you than others. By this I mean, it hurts. I mean really hurts, so much so that we feel scared just thinking about it. We fear the consequences of making a mistake because the feelings of guilt and shame seem to spiral out of control the moment we make one. These consequences can be self-inflicted criticism or criticism from others, both are equally as damaging if you don’t know how to deal with…
Perfectionism is defined by Google herself as a personality trait, characterised by a person’s striving for flawlessness. But what does that really mean? Since happiness is what we strive for, surely achieving perfectionism would be able to give us exactly that? If this was true, then begs the question..
People pleasing means constantly putting another person’s needs before your own and bending over backwards for those who you know don’t deserve it. It can feel as if the weight of everyone’s emotions falls on your shoulders or that the trials of any relationship are your burdens to carry. It means knowing when something is not your fault or responsibility to fix, yet still taking on the task.
There is no rational explanation as to why we disregard our own feelings to avoid rocking the boat, because it causes an immense amount of pain. But one thing’s for certain, constantly seeking other people’s approval and relying on them as a source of “happiness supply” is extremely difficult.